Wow, so many things to write about this week! As you can tell by the title of this subject that there are many blessings and lessons to tell you all about this week! Let's start with the blessings!
We received wonderful news earlier this week that our sister in law Alex (married to Ian's brother Paul) was on her way to the hospital because her water broke. After a long day of waiting she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! They named her Chloe Bridget James (the name Bridget is special because that is Ian's grandmothers named and Chloe was born on her birthday). Chloe is healthy and Alex is doing great! We were able to skype them a few days ago and my heart was filled with so much love! This is Paul's and Alex's 2nd child and 2nd girl! We are so happy for them and are grateful to have another wonderful addition added to our family. This now makes 3 nieces and 2 nephews for Ian and I. We also got word this past week of many other pregnancies among friends and family members and possible future planning of pregnancies. All I can think of is tis the season, I guess. It seems that everyone is getting pregnant. I can probably count 20 alone that I know of that have either had or going to have a baby. I am happy for all who are experiencing this joy in their lives. Even though I am extremely happy for all, I do admit that it creates a hole of hurt and pain in my own heart. The reason is because of the difficulty we will have of having our own children. I found out last year that there were some complications in my body and in order for us to even start having kids then I would need some fertility to help the process. This of course is not a bad thing, but it does created a certain complication especially when insurances do not pay for fertility. We, being poor college students, of course do not have the money for such a process so the hope of having children sooner rather than later is a very small hope. I pray constantly for understanding and patience for the Lord's timing, but I am sure for those who know of what I am speaking of this is a very difficult thing.
LESSON LEARNED FROM THIS: Earlier this week I received a call from the bishopric to meet with them. Of course I figured this was about a calling since we have just moved into the ward just a few weeks ago. As I headed to the bishopric office I admit to feeling a little uneasy about whatever calling I would get. I started thinking of callings that I wouldn't want and wondering if this calling would work with my busy schedule already. However as I was on my way I also said a prayer in my heart telling Heavenly Father to bring peace to my spirit. I asked him to confirm to me that whatever calling it was that I was meant to be there. I of course told Heavenly Father that no matter the calling of course I would accept it. I knew that I needed to accept it not only because it was the right thing to do, but also because he has given Ian and I so many blessings and the best way to show my thanks for these things is to serve him and others. So as I sat talking with a member of our Bishopric, he extended the calling to be a primary worker...really? I was a little taken by surprise because I have never been in primary before. He continued and stated that he was not 100% sure where in primary, but most likely in the nursery. As I was taking this all in I felt a wave of the spirit come over me telling me that this was going to prepare me for motherhood. Come again? This is going to prepare me for motherhood. I felt the spirit so strong and I knew that this new experience was going to help me prepare to handle the experience of children and trying to teach them the gospel which of course is going to help me in motherhood. As I came home and told Ian about my experience we both agreed this was true, but also laughed a little about it and said maybe we were still not mature enough yet to have kids. In this whole experience though I am learning and seeing that the Lord has a bigger picture for me of course and even though I may not fully see it and even though I may get impatient not knowing the full picture, he is preparing my life, preparing me for children and helping me on my course.
Another Blessing: Yesterday I went and finally got all my paperwork signed and ready for financial aid for my schooling! WOW!!! I really can't believe that I am doing this. I am truly excited for this change. I am excited for the future. I can't wait to see where all this is going to take me. I am grateful for this blessing that Heavenly Father is given me. The timing of it all has been perfect. I can see that now. With our jobs, the path we took to become RA's which has financially allowed us this opportunity for me to go to school. What a wonderful blessing!!!
LESSON LEARNED: Heavenly Father is in control!
2 comments:
Hang in there. It's not easy for sure.
I know you want children asap, but the Lord knows what is best for you and what your time-table is. All my friends that had kids told us to wait as long as possible before we had any. Of course I thought opposite, but now having a few, I would pass along the same advice. Get done with school and get settled a little more and I think it will make having kids a little more doable. You will be a great mother! Keep trusting in the Lord!! Love ya!
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